live 4 the weekend

for breakfast this morning i went to the bakery to buy a bacon bap. in the que there was an old guy in front of me.

when the old lady behind the counter saw him she asked 'how are you love?'

he said 'i woke up today, so that's a bonus'

she said 'that's true'

then they both stopped talking.

i like it when it rains because i know it'll be warmer the next day

lately i've been trying consciously not to say that something's shitty when other ppl are around. when ppl say something is shitty and it's something i like it feels like my whole body winces.

normally the things ppl say are shitty are things like 'ketchup' or 'twitter'. it is maybe advantageous to have no opinions or 'identity'.

i feel very aware of little hypocrisies in my own identity. i think maybe my identity is manufactured inside my brain ('outside of life') and when my identity is 'inside of life' it doesn't feel right or something.

at work when they try to motivate us they talk about what our 'personal goals' are, then talk in general terms about how doing well at work will lead to us accomplishing our personal goals. these sentences often start with 'think about your goals. some people live for the weekend...'

lately i feel like i 'live for death'