hi im omar i have a pens and balls and a harte

i had to get  full time job recently

this is because all my skinny jeans are torn and i've had to wear baggy ass jeans left over from the early 2000s for the last two weeks and that is killing my spirit

i think i understand now what people mean when they say 'freedom isn't free'

i took this job because they told me i could start on monday and i get paid weekly

monday is tomorrow and the job is telesales and i have to wake up at 8am

my job will be having ppl hate me which seems okay because its like i'm a doctor who is helping ppl with anger management

the eastern european lady who interviewed me said 'we deal with a lot of rejection' and i told her that i have a lot of experience with that

she made me read the telesales script from a piece of paper

i read it like one of those customer service robots

she told me 'that was better than a lot of the others who came in today'

i think maybe those customer service robots are real ppl who don't want to deal with real ppl so pretend to be robots

i feel like life is never going to end

i will never be hit by a car because it takes me 5 minutes to cross a road

when i was 12 i lived in an apartment building with a swimming pool and my parents wouldn't let me go to the swimming pool alone but i did anyway and i slipped on the edge and fell in and cut my penis on the edge and had to be rushed to hospital

i remember being put under general awesome fun time gas and feeling them thread the stitches through my penis but not feeling any pain, just like my skin being pulled

i went to the corner shop earlier and the guy on the till asked me how my weekend was and i reflexively said 'i'm a bit hungover' and he said 'me too' and i felt like we connected

actually i lied though because i haven't been out in ~1 month and last night all i did was chat with ppl from 8pm until 3am

this is my life before i die

hi im omar